do it anyway

i took a week off blogging,  just had nothing to really muster up and so it felt kind of good not to even think about it.   i am not too inspired this week, either, but i did come across a really good song yesterday at my favorite monthly gathering with my dear friends, brave-courageous-in-the-trenches-women,  that i thought i’d share.  anyone who knows me knows i can’t stand country music, like i really, really don’t like it.  i can do a few crossover songs from the dixie chicks, keith urban, carrie underwood here and there, but it’s really not my vibe.   but i will humbly admit, some country tunes do kind of touch a chord in me now and then.  anyway, this is is the martina mcbride song my friend played for us:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FdB5Adws78. it’s called “anyway.”   embedding was disabled so you’ll have to follow the link.

it’s nothing super deep, but there was something about it that was good for me right now.  i’ve sort of been in my own little pity party for a little too long and am ready to shift gears.  i sense God nudging me to not lose sight of the bigger picture & the beautiful story that is getting told right now, in the moment, but i can’t seem to get my in-grown eyeballs to turn out!   i want to lean into the adventure and not miss it.  i want to be a person who loves well the people who are in my life now.  i want to be a person who is willing to practice, experiment, give it a try.   life’s too short to be afraid of failing (and let’s face it, the measures we use for success & failure aren’t too reliable).   i want my motto to be “ah, what the hell, why not?” instead of “oh, no, too scary, too hard, too risky…”  i want to feel God’s spirit blowing through me.  i want to not care what other people think.   i want to dream, sing, live no matter what ends up happening in the end.  i want to be someone who does it anyway.

here are the lyrics:

you can spend your whole life buildin’ something from nothin
one storm could come and blow it all away
build it anyway

you could chase a dream that seems so out of reach
and you know it might not ever come your way
dream it anyway

God is great but sometimes life aint good and when I pray
it doesn’t always turn out like i think it should
but I do it anyway.  i do it anyway

this worlds gone crazy and it’s hard to believe
that tomorrow will be better than today
believe it anyway

you can love someone with all you heart for all the right reasons
and in a moment they can choose to walk away
love ’em anyway

God is great but sometimes life aint good and when I pray
it doesn’t always turn out like i think it should
but I do it anyway. yeah I do it anyway

you can pour your soul out singin’ a song you believe in
that tomorrow they’ll forget you ever sang
sing it anyway. yeah sing it anyway

i sing
i dream
i love anyway

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Kathy Escobar

Kathy Escobar co-pastors at The Refuge, a Christian community and mission center in North Denver and is the author of Faith Shift: Finding Your Way Forward When Everything You Believe is Coming Apart and several other books.

8 Comments

  • Kathy, I’m becoming more and more convinced that often “the thing” is not always about “the thing.” What I mean is that we sometimes think that the thing we are trying to focus on is what “it” is all about, when the REAL thing is some obscure byproduct, not the main “thing” at all. I know if I REALLY grasped this, I’d try lots of things anyway, no matter the outcome.

    Let me give you an example that involves you! As a very direct result of you blogging, my heart has dared to come alive to the possibility that I need to stop running from being a “reluctant leader,” and just jump in and do it. So I am! Now, when you folks started the refuge, were you thinking, “You know, there’s this woman in Vermont who used to not be afraid, but then she got wounded and now she won’t come out of the back of the cave. If we start the refuge, and start blogging, she’ll read it and will find healing and get back up again.” I don’t think so :-). But, for me, your “thing” was not about “the” thing I needed that God put into my path!

    Closer to home, I recently (as a result of above) decided to start to explore gathering with a group of people again. That was “the thing” I was focused on. Well, as emails and phone calls went out, my “thing” quickly was no longer the thing. Suddenly, what was happening relationally with people as a result of one email sent out was “the thing.” I sure didn’t plan it (and frankly would have avoided if I’d seen it coming!). But, it was used of God to restore dignity to someone’s life, and to bring them healing and hope for the future.

    All of the above came from a little side effect of “the thing” you focused on when starting the refuge, having no idea of the ripple of circles spreading out. I see this happening all the time, over and over again. We often don’t realize the little side effects of our “thing” are more the main event than the original “thing” we focused on.

    Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to share to hopefully encourage your heart in some small way. I’m grateful you are doing it anyway!

    I guess I could have just quoted Romans 8:28 which says all of the above in a single sentence, huh? Hugs to you from Vermont.

    Reply
  • Kathy:

    Thanks for this and the vertigo post. I’ve been feeling kind of alone and crazy after the jump from the cliff myself. So I thought this morning. What are Kathy and the Refuge folks up to. They will understand. And maybe I won’t feel so alone. So thanks.

    Kate and survived the jump from the cliff. I guess once the fall is survived, maybe with some broken bones, and a permanent limp, one feels grateful to be alive. And life is different down here. A new land. Completely different.

    Back in Tucson we are wandering around in Plan B and C and D. And that is life. And it’s only moments. We can’t even begin to know what is unfolding. It’s subtle and seems to be bigger than us and we are not in control. But what else can be done. If we are to be faithful sometimes we have to just do it. When God is doing a new thing, sometimes it is really hard to perceive it. Even to us who are called to do it.

    So for us, “Ah, what the hell, why not?” meant following the Spirit right out the door of a three bedroom house and into the life of spiritual explorers in a camper truck with no actual home to now living in some friends’ guest house for free. But hey, we have a place to live.

    It means doing full-time sort of related jobs and growing our little community on the side. But hey, we are meeting people we would not have met before.

    I feel like I’m planting guerilla gardens in cracks in the sidewalk. Which is cool just not what i planned.

    So yeah, I think I’m still with you, “Do it anyway.” But it may hurt a little. And that’s just the way it’s going to be. And what then? I guess just do the next thing anyway too. I don’t know what else to do these days.

    Thanks for spending the time to write on your blog, and helping the rest of us feel not quite so alone and crazy for doing it anyway.

    Sending you and the Refuge good vibes this morning. Thanks for all you are doing. May the Spirit keep her dancing up around there. Carry on with the goodness.

    Reply
  • tracy – okay thanks soooooo much for your reminder & it really is more encouraging than you know…thanks for being such a great cheerleader and voice of reason and hope from across the miles.

    carol – it was so good to hear from you! we think of you both a lot and that sweet short time we had in colorado on your adventure! we really wanted to pull off AZ-mexico community with you but it was too much to do. it does help us feel so much less alone to hear a bit of where you are at now that you are back and living out some of what has been stirring in you both before and after your journey. lots of love and hope and peace to you and your dear community that God is beautifully shaping there. somehow it does feel like we’re all in this crazy thing together, living out some of these God dreams in all different ways.

    both of you, from vermont, from arizona, thanks for sharing today and passing a little love to me in colorado. the timing couldn’t have been more perfect & you didn’t just encourage me but the refuge team, too.

    Reply
  • I love this song. Not a country fan at all but they even play this on my Christian radio station!! The lyrics always remind me that I am not responsible for the results (that is His job), but I am responsible for taking the footsteps and the risk. The destination and goal is the aim and direction…but not the journey! Some days I still have to remind myself to breathe…that this too (all of it) will pass. It’s what is left behind in our wake that is important.

    Reply
  • Oh the best part of that song is that the words are attributed to Mother Teresa – they were written on the walls of a children’s home she had in India.
    I have an occasional aversion to country music too and then other times I really get into it – this song in particular really touched me too. In fact I blogged about it once upon a time.
    Amazing.

    Reply
  • tara – here’s to one foot in front of the other!

    jewls – thanks so much, i totally didn’t make that connection, i had seen that mother teresa piece before but i am so glad you reminded us! it’s so good i thought i’d post it here:

    from mother teresa….

    people are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. forgive them anyway.

    if you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. be kind anyway.

    if you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. succeed anyway.

    if you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. be honest and sincere anyway.

    what you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. create anyway.

    if you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. be happy anyway.

    the good you do today, will often be forgotten. do good anyway.

    bive the best you have, and it will never be enough. give your best anyway.

    in the final analysis, it is between you and God. it was never between you and them anyway.

    Reply
  • I want to say that I really enjoy reading your posts. What a gift you have for communication. And my heart echos the sentiments you expressed at the end of this post!

    Reply

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