what's your score?

the walking wounded jpeg

i mentioned this before, but in june of ’07 we hosted a 1/2 day workshop here in denver called the walking wounded, for those who were burned out, beat up by “church” in some way, shape or form.  it was actually a really fun morning, lots of laughing & lots of healing in different ways. last week hanging out with my fav friend phyllis i remembered this funny checklist karl & i shared at the beginning of our time together & thought that it might make some of you laugh. it’s not for everyone; if you don’t consider yourself somehow one of the walking wounded, you won’t get it. but if you would have been a participant, you’ll know what we’re talking about.  remember, it’s all in good fun. i of course love the church otherwise i wouldn’t be doing what i am doing. but the messed-up systems that have infiltrated it sure give us some amazing fodder!

anyway, what’s your score? 🙂

i have had a lot to drink immediately after a church meeting (10 points)

i have had a lot to drink immediately before a church meeting. (25 points)

i have been to five or more church growth conferences or seminars. (15 points)

the last time i heard the words “church growth” i threw up a little in my mouth. (BONUS: 50 points)

i have been told by others “you need to just ________” and then you’ll feel better (10 points)

i have imagined a felony act with specifics against a former church or church leader (10 points)

i have committed a felony against a former church or church leader (40 points)

i have imaginary heated arguments with church leaders where i always win. (10 points)

i have imaginary heated arguments with church leaders where i never win. (25 points)

i have had a goodbye luncheon at a mexican restaurant (25 points)

my pharmacist is my spiritual director (30 points)

Kathy Escobar

Kathy Escobar co-pastors at The Refuge, a Christian community and mission center in North Denver and is the author of Faith Shift: Finding Your Way Forward When Everything You Believe is Coming Apart and several other books.


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  • Gosh…according to this quiz…I’m not that wounded. I guess it applies more to having worked at the church.

    10pts for being told repeatedly by my mother that I just need to find a good church with some good christian people and then I’ll feel better. I guess in some ways she was right…but I don’t think this is what she had in mind:) That makes me even more happy!

    I loved the one about the going away luncheon at the mexican restaurant:)

    • ROFL. I know I’m late to this party but I just had to say that I hear that line often from my Mom…the whole “You just need to find a good church with some good people”…the implication being “Voila! All your problems (i.e. lack of social life, loneliness, etc) will be solved!”

  • 115, unless I count per incident, then it would be in the 1,000’s due to multiple episodes of imaginary felonies and arguments and non-imaginary meeting-related drinking.

  • I guess that “and I didn’t even get a kiss” would be a bit too graphic. This is a wonderful list. I also think that there is a book here.


  • Thanks for the article at Emergent Village . . . that’s what led me here. This was great – I think I passed, if a high score is good!
    Blessings, Jim

  • Er, maybe the workshop would have been helpful for me.. hehe. 225…. *GULP* So funny!

    I am sure we could all add a few more… 🙂

  • Wait, minus the felony for 40. 😉 Maybe I am not that damaged.. hehehe

  • So, what happens with the perfect score ?

    The funny thing about this, if can find some humor and I need to right now, today was a day for the record books concerning church and staff.

  • 120 – unless, like Grace, you count per incident, then it would be hard to calculate. How many points if you participated in a legal action against your former church leaders and church?

  • I got a fairly respectable 95, and I’m wondering if that’s a good or bad thing…

  • Over 100…with the following notations:

    1. I have had a lot to drink DURING a church meeting (or two)

    2. My goodbye luncheon was at an Irish/Polish Pub.

    3. My spiritual director is an atheist bartender.

  • i don’t know what it was about this one, but i was chuckling all day yesterday about this list, i had totally forgotten about it. i needed a laugh! thanks for your comments. i know you could add a few other wing-dingers, that is for sure.

    mak – i knew this one would make you laugh!

    lisa – yeah, i think a lot are more focused in that direction for sure. your addition cracks me up. yeah, if she only knew what “kind” of christians you got hooked up with! 🙂 don’t tell.

    mike – welcome! yeah, that one is my very favorite. that was the one that had me chuckling the most yesterday.

    grace – 🙂

    john – i knew you’d get a kick of out of this one. hope we can hang out soon.

    jim – welcome, glad you stopped by, nice to hear from you here. i need to post that EV blog here this weekend, i forgot! well i don’t know if it’s good or bad, but a high score definitely means you’re in good company around here. hope to hear from you again.

    stacy – way to go, getting to deduct some in the end, was it a misdemeanor instead? 🙂

    jeff – oh i have to tell you, just reading that made my stomach go in knots. ugh, sorry. i so don’t miss that kind of stuff. glad you got a laugh out of this in the midst…sometimes that’s all we can do, it’s all so ridiculous.

    katherine – i am thinking some serious extra points & a seat in the front row at the walking wounded workshop. i am always reminded how sucky it got (and continues to get) for so many….ugh.

    amy – glad it made you laugh…

    heather – 🙂

    randy – toooo funny….

  • This test is a little too challenging …. next time could you post a test on “Messed Up Systems 101”?

    This would be one of the few exams I sat and got OVER 100!!!! Can I get a Diploma – please? I need some academic qualifications to make me feel more humble. Tah.

  • I’m sending the test results to my Mom!

    She always said I would never make it in anything and now for the first time I scored 100% Yipee!!!!!!!

    Hey Randy – so you also have a Church in da Pub! 🙂


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