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from standing tall to on the floor: conversations on patriarchy.

By Kathy / February 12, 2018 / 4 Comments

Years ago a friend from The Refuge hosted a Listening Party for Christian men to listen to a panel of women on our experiences as female leaders. It was a brave thing to pull together. We looked forward to having a space to share our experiences and be heard by our Christian brothers. The only […]

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5 reasons we need more women leading in the world.

By Kathy / January 10, 2018 / 3 Comments

“We are all meant to be mothers of God…for God is always needing to be born.” ~ Meister Eckhardt Last month we had our Blue Christmas gathering at The Refuge. A contemplative space, Refuge friends created different stations to engage with different aspects of a season that can be hard for so many in different […]

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there are lots of ways to mother (and the world sure needs it right now)

By Kathy / May 14, 2017 / 0 Comments

It’s Mother’s Day in the USA today, the time where a bunch of women feel special and extra-loved, and another group of women often don’t. Like so many other holidays, many who feel great about it  sometimes forget that there are others who are aching. Church is extra sucky if they make all the mothers stand […]

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rising together.

By Kathy / March 8, 2017 / 0 Comments

Today is International Women’s Day. You all know I am a passionate advocate for women and write about it all the time here. Our equality is all tied up together. Unless we’re all free, none of us are free, and it’s important to always remind ourselves that well behaved women won’t change the church (or history). Equality is […]

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my unsolicited advice

By Kathy / December 12, 2016 / 2 Comments

For almost 9 years I’ve been writing my guts out about church and faith and life and all my dreams of what could be. Despite the vulnerability and what it’s cost me in certain circles, I’m inspired by the incredible people I’ve met over the years through this blog who are changing systems that need changing, […]

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equality matters.

By Kathy / January 28, 2016 / 12 Comments

“Are we still talking about women’s equality in the church? Really? In the year 2016?” Once in a while I have someone say that to me. The answer is always the same: “Yes, unfortunately, we still are.” Because while we’ve come a long way and there’s a lot to celebrate, we’ve still got a long […]

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say something.

By Kathy / January 6, 2016 / 18 Comments

Oh, it’s not worth rocking the boat about. It’s not that big of a deal. They’re doing the best they can. They aren’t going to change anyway. I don’t want them to think bad of me. I don’t want them to think I’m bitchy or petty. I don’t want them to stop respecting me. I […]

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lifting heads, straightening backs.

By Kathy / March 3, 2015 / 13 Comments

Sometimes I get calls from women asking for help to get out of an abusive relationship. Skittish, scared, and filled with shame, they reach out and share their story. It’s so brave. Some are rich, some are poor. Some are educated, others have never graduated from high school. Some have kids while others don’t. Some […]

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the same minds that got us into the problem can't get us out

By Kathy / February 11, 2015 / 7 Comments

One of the hardest things for me is when I see talented, amazing, gifted, educated, passionate, articulate, creative women who over the years have found that they have no place left in the church. They waited. They tried. They gave it their all. They showed up again and again and again and again. And in […]

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women, men & church: what hurts, what helps

By Kathy / September 22, 2014 / 14 Comments

Two fridays ago The Refuge hosted our first “Beyond Seminary: Moving Theology into Practice” gathering. Our amazing friend and seminary professor Dr. Deborah Loyd facilitated and we were challenged, encouraged, inspired in all kinds of ways. There were 25 of us there, 21 women and 4 men. Yep. That was a little hard for me but […]

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