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from standing tall to on the floor: conversations on patriarchy.

By Kathy / February 12, 2018 / 4 Comments

Years ago a friend from The Refuge hosted a Listening Party for Christian men to listen to a panel of women on our experiences as female leaders. It was a brave thing to pull together. We looked forward to having a space to share our experiences and be heard by our Christian brothers. The only […]

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my unsolicited advice

By Kathy / December 12, 2016 / 2 Comments

For almost 9 years I’ve been writing my guts out about church and faith and life and all my dreams of what could be. Despite the vulnerability and what it’s cost me in certain circles, I’m inspired by the incredible people I’ve met over the years through this blog who are changing systems that need changing, […]

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liberation.

By Kathy / October 26, 2016 / 1 Comment

lib·er·ate libəˌrāt/ (verb) set (someone) free from a situation, especially imprisonment or slavery, in which their liberty is severely restricted set free, free, release, let out, let go, set/let loose, save, rescue * * * * * I’ve been in a lot of faith shifting conversations these past few weeks; they happen a lot but […]

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the kids are alright.

By Kathy / May 24, 2016 / 13 Comments

If you’re friends with me on Facebook, your Newsfeed has been clogged with pictures of my daughter’s college graduation. Oh, what a beautiful weekend we had in New York City celebrating with family and friends. We are so proud of her! After four years in the Bronx, she is now moving on to dental school […]

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say something.

By Kathy / January 6, 2016 / 18 Comments

Oh, it’s not worth rocking the boat about. It’s not that big of a deal. They’re doing the best they can. They aren’t going to change anyway. I don’t want them to think bad of me. I don’t want them to think I’m bitchy or petty. I don’t want them to stop respecting me. I […]

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leaving church to save our souls

By Kathy / February 14, 2014 / 49 Comments

goodness gracious, people get riled up over conversations about “church.”  i wish we could get as much traction on justice & poverty issues!  it’s fascinating, really, how passionate many are about this topic, especially when someone threatens the church in any way.  i didn’t read all of donald miller’s post last week about why he […]

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equality is a bumpy road (and sometimes it makes me want to stand on tables & scream)

By Kathy / November 15, 2013 / 29 Comments

i am coming upon my 10 year anniversary in full-time vocational ministry. january 1st of 2004 i went on a big church staff as the associate care pastor; the following year i became the adult ministry pastor, and then the year after that i lost my job after a big ugly bru-haha related to power […]

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breastfeeding hurts & other things we need to be more honest about.

By Kathy / June 25, 2012 / 57 Comments

* i wrote this post in march and never got around to posting it (i do that a lot).  it was after a conversation with an awesome mommy & ministry leader who told me how hard it was to juggle being a mom and leading at the same time.   in her mind, she kept […]

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ex-good-christian-women

By Kathy / May 31, 2012 / 105 Comments

i used to be a really good christian woman.  like one of the best.  i said the right things, did the right things, played nice.   the only problem was that what was on the outside & what was on the inside were two different things. i believe evangelical christianity has created a lot of […]

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on becoming less divided.

By Kathy / May 23, 2012 / 53 Comments

“in an effort to not be a divisive woman, i became a divided woman” – pam hogeweide, at the unladylike: resisting the injustice of inequality in the church event at the refuge this past friday night. * * * * * in an effort to not be a divisive woman, i became a divided woman. oh […]

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