friday-saturday-sunday living



friday saturday sunday

for the past few weeks at the refuge we have been walking through the days of easter weekend.  we put ourselves in the cycle of these three days, starting with friday–the night Jesus was crucified–with a look at death.  then we moved to saturday, the day after, when the sorrow, shock, and lament at the reality of loss kicks in.   and on easter sunday we’ll look at the new life and hope that comes through the resurrection.

we’ve spent the majority of our time focusing in on friday and saturday because they are the most overlooked days when it comes to typical easter revelry.   but if we are honest, they are the place that we live the most.  we live in a genesis 3 world, a world of brokenness.  this means death, shame, loss, doubt, insecurity, confusion are part of our human experience.  and while i spent years trying to cover this part of life up, pretending it didn’t exist, that it wasn’t okay to acknowledge how hard and dark and confusing life can feel because i was a “good christian”, i am learning the art of acknowledging the beauty of friday and saturday living. 

without death & pain & tears & suffering, we can’t really experience life.  i get that now, more than ever, but i will also say that i have an internal pain-avoider-meter that wants to skip friday and saturday and land on sunday.  what is interesting for me how un-christian it feels to focus too much on friday and saturday.    i have felt a little guilty these past few weeks, like we are torturing people by purposefully and intentionally staying on friday and saturday for longer than might feel comfortable.  in reality we are just trying to be more honest about real life and acknowledge that without death, we cannot have life.  without pain & suffering, we cannot experience healing and God’s comfort.

the propserity gospel skips over that part. it makes it seem like good christians, faith-filled people, need to learn how to live in resurrection sunday all of the time.  it feels dishonest.   Jesus was pretty clear that in this world we’d have a lot of trouble. that life would be hard.   we’d experience great pain, great sorrow, great loss, and following Him meant some pretty big costs.

but the beautiful part–the sunday part–was that in the midst of all of it we could also have access to his peace, his hope, his life.  for some, these things might be easier to access than for others.   and i believe in christian community we have to be careful that we don’t make the “not-so-good-at-sunday-people” feel like losers because it’s just not where they really are living at the moment.    we might have more to learn from them than we think.  when i see my friends grieve, let themselves be angry at God, say hard things out loud, i  learn to let myself go there, too.   real intimacy with God, with other people, requires us to live in not just sunday but friday & saturday, too.  

i love that both pain & beauty can exist in the same experience.  and i hate that both pain & beauty can exist in the same experience.  i want all good, no bad. i want ease, not discomfort. i want happy, not sad.  i do not want my kids to hurt. i don’t want to hurt.  i want everyone to feel free and loved and whole 100% of the time and not have to experience the pain of lost jobs, lost relationships, lost dreams, lost hope.   but that’s not how life works.   the resurrection means nothing without the sting of friday’s death and the sorrow of saturday’s grief.     i am the first to say “i am tired of friday and saturday.  God, when’s sunday coming??”  but i am practicing the spiritual discipline of truth telling, of staying in the moment and forcing myself to live in the tension of sadness, loss, anger, confusion, doubt, disillusionment instead of falsely skipping to where i think i am “supposed to be.”

i am learning that real life is this crazy combination of friday-saturday-sunday….death-sadness-life…they all bleed together in some weird mysterious way.   maybe a piece of our spiritual journey is learning to embrace and celebrate the three-day weekend…

ps: my friend jenny made this cool picture of these three movements.

Kathy Escobar

Kathy Escobar is dedicated to creating safe and brave spaces for transformation and healing in real life, online, and outside. She co-pastors at The Refuge, a hub for healing community, social action, and creative collaboration in North Denver, co-directs #communityheals, a non-profit organization dedicated to making spaces for transformation accessible for all, and is the author of Practicing: Changing Yourself to Change the World, Faith Shift: Finding Your Way Forward When Everything You Believe is Coming Apart and several other books.


  • This is so true.
    But when you get on the other side of the Friday and Saturday and are in Sunday and can see the purposes in all of it – you can often say – (I can attest to this because I have said it myself) if you had to endure the hard times to be who God was making you all along – so be it. And it is not easily said –

  • jewls, yeah who likes having to go through hard times to get to the good but it is just some weird crazy reality of life here.

  • Kathy, Is the email on your sidebar still correct? ( I’ve tried to contact you via that, but it keeps getting bounced back to me. I wanted to contact you via something not in blog-land, if possible.



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