graduation goodies

(NOTE: i accidentally permanently deleted this original post along with the comments that originally went with it back in may.  sorry!)

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well it’s been absolutely nutty around the escobar house (what’s new?).  but honestly, it really has been a crazy week with my oldest son graduating from high school.  it’s so hard to believe that this moment really came, my little bunny now heading off to college in a month (he’s going to the naval academy in annapolis).  these 18 years came in a blink.  the truth is that when josh was 7 years old, we had 4 other kids.  one of my claim-to-fames is that for a few months i had 5 kids under the age of 7.    i always tell him “i’m sorry you were our guinea pig, we didn’t really know what we were doing and i think we’ve gotten better over the years.” he assures us that we really are, indeed, good parents.

anyway, his graduation has made me think a lot about the past 18 years, how we’ve changed, where we’ve been.  i can’t say i have a ton of regrets; sure there are things i’d definitely do differently and am trying to improve up on with the other 4 bunnies, but the reality is that we can only do the best we can when we are there.  no question, parenting is definitely a spiritual formation adventure.

yeah, i’ve learned a lot.  have a lot more to learn, too.  but here are a few that come to mind today:

  • grace is better than the law.
  • our actions matter much more than our words.
  • eventually they have to find their own faith no matter how may Bible verses they memorize.
  • it’s easy to talk about unconditional love and much trickier to really give it.
  • people are going to judge your parenting, there’s no way around it.  just let it go, they aren’t in your shoes.
  • the interrupt rule was worth it (all you growing kids god’s way’ers will know what i’m talking about).
  • control is really the root of most all of the conflicts.
  • becoming a safe person applies to parenting, not just other relationships.
  • the best thing i ever did for my kids was put my butt in the chair and start to get honest about what was going on inside of me.
  • letting go is hard to do.
  • you might end up doing and saying things you swore you wouldn’t.  don’t be too hard on yourself when it happens.
  • public school is not of the devil.
  • love covers a multitude of sins.
  • humility is much easier to talk about than actually live out.
  • don’t take ourselves too seriously.
  • even though they leave, we’re never done.
  • you can always make up for some of your mistakes with the younger ones.

we are leaving for a graduation getaway to el salvador, just our familia and 2 of josh’s friends at a free beach house, yeah!  no cell phones, no tv’s, no computers.  just us.  can’t wait. see ya when i get back!

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Kathy Escobar

Kathy Escobar is dedicated to creating safe and brave spaces for transformation and healing in real life, online, and outside. She co-pastors at The Refuge, a hub for healing community, social action, and creative collaboration in North Denver, co-directs #communityheals, a non-profit organization dedicated to making spaces for transformation accessible for all, and is the author of Practicing: Changing Yourself to Change the World, Faith Shift: Finding Your Way Forward When Everything You Believe is Coming Apart and several other books.

One Comment

  • my wife and i were both first borns. we used to joke that kid were like pancakes. you know you always throw the first one away, because it is just a practice one. and usually gets pretty messed up. parenting is a challenging experience, and most of us enter this stage of life with little life experience or maturity. praise God for his ability to redeem the mess i caused in my kids lives. and the amazing grace that they have afforded to me!!


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