the cross, this year

the cross this yearevery year for the past few years i’ve written about the cross & what it means to me.  last year i just reposted the previous year with a few twists.  this year, i decided to start over and reflect on where i am this year.

these are just some thoughts off the top of my head, where i am today in the midst of all kinds of life & refuge wild and craziness (what’s new?), in a season of my faith that feels free-er and more connected than it’s been in a long time,  in a season where traditions & remembering-the-story seem extra important.

this year, 2012, the cross reminds me that:

God’s ways are always higher than my ways.  crazier, too. and a lot less practical.

there are no shortcuts even though i keep looking for them, longing for them. even Jesus tried, asking for an easier plan.

“forgive them father, for they know not what they do” heals.  these words continue to give me new eyes of compassion toward myself & those who have hurt me.  

on the road to golgotha, Jesus had to receive help.  someone else carried his cross.  it symbolizes the power of receiving, not only giving.

it’s easier to live in “friday” and “saturday” of the easter story than “sunday.”  at the same time, if we are always trying to skip quickly to sunday, we’re not really living because life includes pain & struggle.

shame must always be scorned.

the path of least resistance is usually to be victims or survivors instead of thrivers.

picking up my cross & carrying it is tough stuff.  i like wearing crosses & talking about crosses & hanging crosses on my wall.  carrying them is a whole other story.

“it is finished” continues to become more and more comforting to me as i expand my view of what that might really mean. 

i need hope.  without it, i’m toast.

my son asked me today why they called today “good friday.”  he thought it should be called “sort-of-confusing friday” instead.  for me, this year, it somehow feels less confusing than others years, maybe because i’m not caught up in trying to make sense of anything but just accept its rawness, weirdness and beauty with an open heart.  it feels really “good”.

what about you?   what does the cross mean to you this year?

happy easter weekend to all of you.  peace & hope, kathy

Kathy Escobar

Kathy Escobar is dedicated to creating safe and brave spaces for transformation and healing in real life, online, and outside. She co-pastors at The Refuge, a hub for healing community, social action, and creative collaboration in North Denver, co-directs #communityheals, a non-profit organization dedicated to making spaces for transformation accessible for all, and is the author of Practicing: Changing Yourself to Change the World, Faith Shift: Finding Your Way Forward When Everything You Believe is Coming Apart and several other books.


  • The cross…once it was lifted up, He was lifted up, and He bore all my sins on that cross with Him. He truly gave me eternal life!

    Happy Easter Kathy! He is Risen!

  • Yes. It is finished. Jesus’ work on earth is done. The rest is up to us. Let us all be a reflection of Divine Love into every interaction we have with each other and with all of Creation. (Click on my name for the longer version of my Good Friday reflection).

    • thanks, jim, for sharing. i love reflecting on that reality, too.

  • The cross means 2 things 2 me. 1st it means, like Jesus, I will have my own cross 2 bear. 2nd like Simon, i will b expected 2 help my sisters & brothers carry theirs, as well. And my friends will help me, when I have no strength left. Community @ it’s best!!

    • thanks for sharing, mike. what a pretty holy week we had together.

  • I used to be pretty certain what the cross meant. Now I’m not so sure and trying even harder to figure it out. I’m bothered by the idea of a God who has to have blood and the idea of being happy because of a crucifixion doesn’t make me feel so good. I’m really not sure what to think about Easter this year. Still working that out.

    • thanks for sharing, jim, sorry i didn’t realize this comment was here until this morning. yeah, so many weird things to ponder, especially when things shift so dramatically. look forward to seeing you guys in a few weeks!

  • The cross this year means to me that Jesus knows torture, and that it isn’t the end of the story. In fact, it is a symbol of so much more to come. I have felt really disconnected from the story, until our beautiful Good Friday celebration. When I saw the word “torture” on the screen and heard the corresponding part of scripture beinng read, it struck me that he knows. He knows what it is like to feel so alone, so neglected, and so deeply in pain. The cross this year is a representation that He is closer, and has been, than maybe I have realized.

    • wow, that is really powerful. thanks so much for sharing this. what a soul-stirring evening together. xo


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